silly boy & the girl

That day was not very warm and it was neither a cold night.

i felt warm ...

That image of the little pretty girl who would always smile so cheerfully and chirpy. Her laughter was so contagious and full of joy.

Her eyes would sparkle with glee and her rosy cheek.

She would always try to hold his hand. as he looked at her. and she would lead him on.

All she wanted to do is to bring him into her world. that little space of her own.

Just to lie there she in his arms, he to hug her as they lie there, forget bout the world and watch the stars .. just to savour this moment of two lovers together.

She would always wear the best, plan for the best and be at her best for that boy.

This pretty girl .. smart and clever, she just knows to do the right thing at the right time.

As this little girl held the boy's hand ...

They walked and walked ..

My image was blurred .. That beautiful image was burnt ..

My face was red ... but not with fire .. the tears couldn't save the beautiful image.

The girl has since went away .. The boy has since ... disappeared.

Is this love .. is it a tragic .. is this just meant to be? or is it a phase of life, or is it some sort of test dear GOD has put in front of us to determine the strength this love ..

Time flies ...

The girl and boy are now young adults.

The girl has since gone but the heart of the boy is still there.

The girl met the boy ... but she never smile.

The girl wanted to say things to the boy but she don't know how to say .. The boy still loves the girl but he don't know how to say.

The girl scolds the boy for being childish and not looking forward and forget the past. But the boy doesn't understand a single thing.

The girl tried all her means to get the boy to understand .. but unfortunately he knows and he chose to dis-obey.

The girl knows the boy will get hurt even more ultimately.

But does the girl know that the boy has changed .. but his heart hasn't.

Time flies and things changed. But this naive boy still chose to believe that GOD set all these hurdle for him to past through .. and he hope that God will give him a chance ..

and God did .. and it just passed.

and the next one is ... i don't know when.

Boy, since you don't know how to treasure .. then learn it by the hard way then.

*smile*

I cried for that boy.

He loved this girl so much .. but this love couldn't reciprocate.

He kept on waiting and waiting ..

His mind tells him it's tired .. exhausted. But he still doesn't give up.

Poor chap .. silly boy, you little rascal .. i scolded him.

*sigh*

Its late at night now .. the streets are empty, the roads are vacant with occasionally passing vehicles .. suddenly there's a strong gush of wind and the stormy clouds cover the sky ..

The smile of that girl still flashes past his mind .. the image is still crystal clear in his eyes. But all he can do is sigh and smile to himself like a silly boy.

Probably at the corner of this piece of land, she may already be sleeping soundly or she might be probably watching TV .. or perhaps closing her window, as its raining soon.

The silly boy still care for the girl. The silly boy still love the girl and he wants to be with her no matter what she becomes.

Friends ask silly boy why her? after so much .. worth it?

Silly boy just smile.

All he want to do is to love the girl, care for her and protect her.

and why silly boy still loved her?

Silly boy don't know. if he really and do know, then silly boy wouldn't be here till now.
But I say its unconditional love .. and unconditional love usually comes with a lot of stupidness and disappointment.

To the girl .. silly boy still loves you.

and he really do ..

*smile*

I watched the rain pour down onto this cold dark night. The wind blow so strongly .. and i'm going to bed soon.

I remembered the silly boy story.

Silly boy .. you are damn silly .. after so much you went through .. all the disappointment and rejection and all these years.

I asked him why ..

why you little rascal ... why.

*smile*

I still love you, to the girl he love, 我爱你 ... silly boy

我往前飞 飞过一片时间海 我们也常在爱情里受伤害
我看着路 梦的入口有点窄

我遇见你是最美的意外

..

the last

-- 07 August 2007 --

its been quite some time and quite a while. I got a lot to say, but ..

Anyway,

so many days have passed and it's still passing me by .. that fast ..

and well ..

I've met a lot of wonderful people and made a lot of good friends.

I moved on to another life chapter .. this time the stakes are higher and much more riskier. But, I've managing it quite well. i guess .. more or less.

I know what i want now, 5years from now and 10 years from now. I know what I will achieve now and many years from now.

its all on the paper and all i have to do is ... basically, just do it.

the skies the limit .. and nothing's impossible.

i pray for myself and i wish my friends all the best ..

2 years ago ..

i was at a crossroad.

facing a dilemma .. while the lady who held my hand, let go and headed to the other side, and me, stranded.

though it was part and parcel of life. but it is a life-changing experience, at least for me. Then, i know nothing. But i thought i knew a lot .. i tried to be humble then, but it's all self-deceiving, i bluff the whole world and ultimately .. i bluffed myself as well.

I started a joke .. and the joke was on me.

*smile*

I have to admit. I was naive .. im-matured and silly then. But ..

its all in the name of growing up, isn't it?

and there's still many more to learn. and that's really a life-changing experience.

Anyway, Life's been good.

*smile*

But sometimes .. something still caught up with me.

I left the door unlocked. I wasn't expecting anything. But something happened that made me stopped think and ponder a while, re-think and ponder again and re-think carefully and ponder carefully again.

i thought I have forgot and I thought I've already travel very far from the past .. but still.

well ...

This lousy feeling is shitty. It really brings back the emotions that have already and should died two years ago.

I've decided to give it a last try .. before I, at this age and as a man to put career as my very first priority. Nothing else will come between me and my career anymore.

I know, the stakes are high this time and the rejection would also be as high. But deep down, I know I have to take it.

right or wrong .. succeed or not, winning and losing is not important.

I thought this day won't come for sure, but it has, and I am waiting for this day to come for quite some time ..

I am willing to change everything or give up my priorities, if i succeed. Well, If not, then there's no looking back, with so much things to do and so little time .. I don't have much time to think of other things anymore ..

I don't know who is fate .. people say wait. I say, let's see then. I really got no time to queue and basically, I'm tired of queueing.

I know about loneliness, I know about the all your friends getting married and you're alone reality and of cos, I do know about the BACHELOR fact.

But its either you win or you lose.

I can be optimistic towards everything in this world, but not towards the game of emotions.

I don't want to regret it years later .. if i don't give it one last shot. As regretting is a loser's word.

I have changed and so is she. But one thing remains the same - my feelings.

Before i finally resigned ... to fate.

*smile*



*PS - This little blog of mine is 1 year old. It has written alot about my past feelings on her and towards her. While my inspiration comes from the people I've seen, the places I've went to and the things I've done. This day has come .. Its either break or do.

and I will soon put an end to my little "emotional graveyard" blogging. which has served it's purpose well.

Thank you