changed feelings

Whenever the skies turns dark, lightning flashes and thunder roars, thick grey marshmellow like clouds would cover the sky and the wind would start to blow and leaves on the floor would fly, floating like in the air.

I would look out at the window.

And my colleague would go .. "You really like to look out the window! Every time, when it rains, you never fail to look out the window." she teases me and I smile back at her.

I would always tell them, whenever, it rains I cannot go home because I ride a bike and when it rains, the traffic's heavy and it's difficult for me to go home and dangerous some more. So I hate raining day whenever, I'm working. Except the rain stopped when it's home sweet home time.

Deep down .. I know, I'm scared.

I'm scared one day if anything were to happen to me, what would happen. My ambition - smashed, My dreams - crashed, My aspiration - gone, and I can imagine my family.

When I'm .. gone.

Though my friends would most probably lose a good friend and time heals and life goes on. I would only be nothing but a memory left .. hopefully, may it be a good memory.

*smile*

Growing up .. and grown up would always say this, "You will know when you grow up", till now one one seems to tell me anything, but I know - some things.

Now, I'm afraid of dying, too young too little things done and i just hope, it wouldn't be too soon.

I guess it's natural. Maybe when after I've done what I ought to do, achieved what I want and fulfilled those things that I have to, then when it's time, it's time.

no alarms and no surprises .. just silent .. silent.

and well ..

The story of the little boy and girl has finally come to an end - finally.

Both are leading a happy life now .. both has a target to work towards to, and both wishes each other all the best.

and once more I kinda stared into blank .. I went into space and time brought me to and back again - to the past and back again.

woah - for one last time.

I met a lot of old friends recently and made a lot of new friends along the way, very happy and heartwarming to see all the old friends and of course also very happy to have made new friends - good ones. I'm lucky to have met them and I think they're equally as lucky to have met me too.

*laughs*

Time and again, I can't help but to emphasize that time flies. In a month's time, it's another year - Year 2008.

What have you done in this year?

One thing, I've changed alot and I strive to do more. I would want to do more next year, even leaving the comfort zone I am in now in search of doing things that I want to do - without compromising anything - hopefully.

Nothing is easy and everything is difficult and since I'm young and single now and time is with me - why not? and why not - you too?

Many friends have fall in love and some has since got married, and most tying it next year.

Sometimes I would think, it do feels good huh, but the ironic thing is most would envy me, time and money(not a lot lah) is on my side, I can do anything I want and go anywhere I want with no restrictions .. minimum i guess.

Freedom is priceless.

But then, even birds need to settle down and start a family.

Like what I've always said - Fate can only bring two together and that's all, just this far only. The rest is all hard work and more hard work.

Sigh, you might say, love is something you wish to have, kinda hard to get while maintaining is the hardest.

Well, let's just be simple - start with a who first. Good ones are everywhere, the question now is, the right one.

no one knows .. well, i don't know too .. so just leave it to fate FIRST.

Hopefully, a new smile will arise somewhere somehow.

*chuckles*

To pen down something very moody and gloomy is very hard for me now. Time and tide wait for no men, and I need to change.

It's also very hard for me to also pen down those beautiful thoughts which I have months and probably years ago ..

Its a beautiful world now. After every thunderstorm is a sunshine and a new life begins.

My smile is my happiness and my unhappiness.

There's no more story I can really think of anymore to share with people who happen to read this little space of mine.

The only thing I can share now is be happy..

I'm an angry youth when I was growing up and anger got the better of me and I lost myself and eventually - love ones.

Fortunately, something happen, I listened to advice and I heed them. I learn to be humble and I smile to everyone, and most importantly, I got ride of anger or rather I've managed it.

Lessons in life, it's hard but essential. No one will tell you how, or even tell you or maybe there is .. but still you know you have to do it. It's a bitter pill - Yes, but just take it.

Hopefully the next writeup won't be far as I will pen one more ... to end the Yr of 2007, the year when things turned for the better - for me.

In life, there can be lots of friends .. but who are the right ones?
In life, there can be lots of lovers .. but who is the right one?
In life, there can be lots of path to choose .. but which is the right one?

Friendship, love and life .. to balance it, isn't easy. But to choose the right one is more difficult.

To each of its own, in the eye of the beholder .. I hope you choose your destiny well - its in your hands eventually.

I hope all people out there can find the time of their life. Well, even world peace starts with the individual. Right?

*smile*

Cheers~