Love Story

I have some thoughts and I will write them out.

I have committed a mistake that all men will make, thinking back and reflecting back, I regretted it much.

Here, I will relate a story of a guy who did something similar:

Mr B. is my friend. Just last month he tell me that he fell in love. I am delighted for him, as it has been 5 lonely years since he has been involved in a relationship. He always tells me that fate works in a very strange manner, if it comes it comes, if it never comes it never comes, no matter how hard one tried and tried to make it happen; it wont work! Because fate doesn't work this way.

But if it comes, it will be the best, he told me and I remember it very very clearly.

He knew this girl last year and they have been contacting one another ever since. Everytime, when they arranged to meet, somethings will corp up. But he is not disappointed nor is he sad but he perserved and consistently doing what he is doing, hoping one day, there will be one day when they finally meet.

During this 1.5years many things happened to her, how my friend know? This girl writes her soul out in her private or not-so-private space. He diligently keeps himself updated of whats happening around her, hence he know quite a fair bit of her recent happenings.

Note that he is not a stalker.

From her bad and sad, to her happy and jubilant. He read and he feels and he empathized. He feels like protecting her, and he hopes fate will finally knock on his door.

But things cannot be rush.

Fate finally .. came, in the most amazing manner.

Some day last month, in Nov, my friend asked her out for dinner, but she suggested going to the museum! It came as a shocker .. Museum?? he thought. But in the end, it was still a dinner, the museum plan didn't materialized.

The dinner was simple, but very nice and cosy. He told me that they talked a lot, the topics covered everything under the sun and the moon. And the stage was set for further outings. During this period, they kept in constant contact, with my friend concerning for her well-being as he knows that she has her fair bit of private and personal issues.

The chance has finally arrived. The manly instinct of wanting to protect his girl has come, just like a knight who would, despite all odds and danger, putting himself on the line to protect his princess against the evil fire-spitting dragon.

He finally got his chance ..

The knight got her princess .. and dream come true.

He continued what he do best. Protecting and ensuring the princess is well and safe from harm. Hand in hand, they walked the garden, smelled the roses, sharing little secrets and laughing at one another.

Her happiness is his world and he wants to walk into her world as well ..

However, fate comes but fate doesn't guarantee anything ..

Too much care and concern can be too much, and too much of something is no good, like what they said, too many cook spoiled the soup.

8 days ago .. on a fateful Tuesday, it ended, due to some reason.

My friend .. devastated.

He know that he have committed a mistake that all men will committed, he didn't mean it but he did it.

My friend was sorry .. he told me. I listened to him.

I tell him this:

" I remember you told me, when the one comes, she will be the best, you tell me you will treasure her, care about her and guard her forever it lasted. Well, my friend, you did. But, you committed a foolish mistake. I know now you're very angry with yourself as well as being very disappointed. But if you do have a chance to find back what you've lost; remember to treasure, treasured and treasure it dearly."

Appreciate, treasure and show gratitude.

He smiled at me as i looked into his eyes.

Well, sometimes, people do make mistake, but sometimes, a small mistake can and will cost you everything.

I tell him. You love her. You have already fall for her. Now, go get her back! There is no relationship that existed without any conflicts, without any argument and without differences. It is only through these then a relationship will strengthen and thus, withstand any further conflicts.

The love journey is all about care and share, building trust, enduring conflicts and resolving differences then will it last.

Only with all these, will there ever be a happily after ending. A relationship will falter if there is no conflicts, no differences and no arguments.

Love is strange, real strange. Yet it is beautiful, very beautiful. It can bring you to heaven and then suddenly banished you to hell.

All enduring relationship has its problems, and only by solving the problem between the 2 person then can it withstand the test of time.

Else, this love is just but a illusion.

Oh well, Mr B. now you've lost it, then you regretted it. So now you know why they say maintained a relationship is difficult? I know you know it. But all is not lost.

If Mr B. you do get another chance .. I hope you will work towards the fairy tale ending of happily ever after.

The world is always full of hope and surprises as well.

I wish you luck Mr B. and my blessings to you! You are ready, and you jolly-well don't take anything for granted.

Goodnight.

love and marriage

Today is 16th December 2010, and it is also the first time i am writing in the afternoon. Most of the time, i prefer to write in cover of darkness, that's when all the thoughts come bubbling out, I'm more relaxed and in the mood to write - about me (of course).

I will write about love and marriage, as this issue has been in my head for a long time ..

Thus the existence of meloveworld ..

I yearn to be in love, and so are my peers and fellow men, but many don't admit it. Men like freedom, love power and don't like to be tied down. This is true for everyone including me. However, when I speak to most of my male friends, they dread this subject; they cite two main reasons, which is commitment and losing freedom.

No young men likes to commit when we're in the time of our life and losing freedom, when finally we're off the clutches of our mother. It just doesn't make sense for a guy to chain himself back when finally he is un-chained.

The thing is everyone is selfish, we maybe in love with someone but we still want to be in love with other someone - The freedom to choose. The freedom to do what he wants to when he has money and money gives them the power to achieve certain things that promises alot of fun.

I learned to love someone many years back then, but only after I lost her. I promises alot but didn't deliver and in the end, she seek better pastures; not for the money, but for better love and security. What i meant by love?

To care and to share, that someone whom you can vision with, and that person will walk along with you along the journey towards future. Building a future together.

"Its the journey, building a relationship and experiencing the good and bad that counts." This cliche phrase comes from a recent colleague of mine. He is 41 years old, drives a BMW 5 series and has as much cash as his contemporaries. He gave this advice to me, when he knew I was seeing someone.

I remember I asked him before why he's still single and not getting married? He kept avoiding my question and dodge it away tactfully. I knew he was not comfortable and I didn't pursue. But when somehow, when we got closer he told me he was a divorcee, and not once but twice.

He knew he made a mistake somewhere, somehow but still he had to live with it. No point looking at the past, cos it has passed. Life should be wonderful isn't it?

Maybe you would say why listen to a divorcee? some one who has failed not once but twice? I didn't asked him further. But looking into his eyes, I know that to divorce is not his choice, or rather he didn't have a choice.

Everyone has a story.

I had an opportunity years ago, a rosy one, but I blew it away. I didn't realized it untill couple of years later. I was in love - before. But the young me back then didn't know it.

I kept telling her that we need to build a bridge of trust in order for this to work out. But i slapped myself in the face. She did, but I didn't. I didn't went for any vices neither did i committed infidelity, but she trusted me more than i trusted her.

I doubted her love for me was genuine. Well, maybe yes or maybe no. It doesn't matter; she's now happily married and I am happy for her.

This was what she wanted years back. I couldn't give it to her, a better guy did.

So now, I guess it's a good time for me to seek for love. I never admitted it but I guess, I have to be truthful to myself. I'm at a good age and in a good position and I'm looking for one.

I've dropped my "excessive baggage" years ago. Because I don't want to embark on a new journey with old baggage, doing which would be unfair to her and certainly not doing me any favor either.

The past has passed, moved on. The future is real.

A lot of my married friends told me that marriage is bad, and one shouldn't be tied down, but still they are tied down. Why? Routine lifestyle, loss of freedom and the painful reality of responsibility, these are some of the possible reasons. They might come in other permuted forms but some how they evolved around the same reasons.

Honestly, I didn't know what to comment much about marriage. But to me, marriage is an action that demonstrate the love of a couple (besides marriage of convenience, of cos). Giving a status to this relationship and the promise to commit further and bringing it up to the next level, high up and away. This is all besides the legal procedures.

Marriage is like rubber-stamping a relationship, authorizing and authenticating the relationship.

"To love, to hold and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse till death do us part"
Our MM Lee Kuan Yew's favourite phrase to her wife who has since departed. Well, as much as I don't like this old man and the funeral has become sort of a local Romeo and Juliet act. But I must say, I like this old man's love for his wife .. hand in hand, journey till the end (although only one left, old man remains).

Well, i had this short story to tell:

Recently, I board on a bus, while i was sitting on a kerb by the roadside, thinking when will my bus arrived. I was delighted while in the bus, and i had a good time in it. Although the period in the bus was short but somehow i feel like a long period of time.

It is a long long time since, i had this kind of loving feeling. Enjoying the ride, looking at the passing by scenery .. a journey built to last.

But it was not to be. As dark gloomy clouds loom and it suddenly drizzled.

Due to some reasons, I had to press the bell and alighted the bus. Not that i want to, but i probably have to. Initially I thought I would have to sit back on the kerb again and wait for the next bus which probably will take many years to come.

But the bus stopped, moved a bit and stopped. As much as i'm delighted but i had to keep calm and stay relaxed and not be too excited. I wouldn't want to board then alight again, I'm definitely not in for a fast ride or a transit; i'm looking into the long haul.

I just stood there and stare at the bus. Maybe the bus driver would come down or maybe the bus driver won't, I don't know. Or even, maybe the bus driver would just again start the engine and drive off.

Its a cold, wet cloudy afternoon, in the middle of nowhere, we're on a road beside a cliff in a valley surrounded by mountain, and the road is wet and slippery, the cold wind pierce through my skin and the rain hits by face.

I stared at the bus and I walked nearer and nearer to the bus.

The bus driver is staring into space with tears in the eye, rolling down the cheek.

I stopped and looked far into the open mountains and high up into the skies, lighted a cigarette and smoked.

Did the bus driver come down? I hope so. Did the bus drove away? Damn! Did I walked away? I guess not.

Well, the story ended.

Frankly speaking, i feel that what i've wrote so far, doesn't really makes sense to me, and I also don't know what I'm writing about other than the above short story.

But I know I have to write something, to remember today, and what has happen thus far.

I think i really need to light a cigarette, smoke and stared into blank, and also to sleep as this is now 0315am.

But what i really want is to hold a hand and work towards a common something for the future. I've said it so many times, but I didn't really admitted it.

Since i've admitted it, its time to do something .. like now, this is not a sign of desperado but if this is what i'm yearning for, then .. just do it.

Sick and tired of writing "stories", so the next time, hopefully I can really be writing stories!

Good night .. *smiles*


"If you cry 我会明白
If you smile 我也会温暖
走累了 If you don@t mind 和我坐下来看看天的蓝
If you cry 还有我在
If you try 陪你等待
你永远不会孤单
有个人只为了你存在"

陈晓东 - IF


PS. If only .. *yawns*

Ode to Bryan

I don't come from a rich family. I don't travel in cars, I don' t enjoy cuisines and I'm also not being pampered by maids neither while growing up, I played with very simple toys, no big fancy electronic control cars, in fact very little toys.

Mummy and daddy would quarrel every now and then, over financial issues. I can't remember all, but it happens many times when I was young; I still have some of those memories intact and preserved in a little corner of my mind.

I moved house 4-5 times during my childhood days - according to my mother. I also don't live in big houses. We stayed at relative's place and it is only untill when I was 4 or 5yrs old, then we finally get to settle down in a no room flat which we call home, then we moved again 1year later. It is our permanent residential ever since till now.

Grandma is my nanny and I loved her alot (Grandma is 85yrs old now). When daddy and mummy are working. Grandma would take care of me and my younger brother. She'll cooked for us, feed us and chased us all over the house, just to put food in our mouths. But it is only when I was in my primary school days, when I studied social studies then I had my decent conversation with grandma about the good old village days, and she would tell me stories or rather bed-time stories, which I remember them dearly till now and she is still repeating her stories when i visited her.

Mummy and daddy are not well educated, and they never really bought me books other than school's textbook; but reading is my no.1 hobby and my first love. Growing up, with no toys or little toys and I'm also not a very active kid neither, so I read. My cousin had 3 sets of encyclopedia, which are my "best childhood friend".
I can spell Tyrannosaurus Rex when I am 6yrs old and I know that rectum is the so-called anal, I also memorized the solar system by heart; Although now scientist has proven that Pluto is not a planet but a dwarf star.

So now at 27yrs old, reading still remains my no.1 love. The library is still my favourite haunt, while I would gladly exchange clubbing and pubbing for MPH, Times, Kinokuniya, PageOne and Borders anytime.

But I assure you, I'm not a GEEK!

Despite all the luxuries I'm deprived of, I appreciated and treasure my family. A nice place called home which I can harbored and seek refuge when the outside gets tough, the warmth and loved which they gave unconditionally - I cannot ask for more.

At Yr 2004, I have a niece and she is 6yrs old this year. We loved and pampered her alot. She's our pride and joy. Pretty like her mother, street-smart like her father and I hope clever and intelligent like her uncle - ME! Yeah~

She'll be intelligent and beautiful - both! I hope. :)

Alright, enough of history.

Along these years, I've met many people and made many many friends. Some remained while some have left. Well, that's life - inevitable that people will come and go. I'll remember people who I know and have left and I'll treasure the good friends who stayed.

I'm 27yrs old and till God knows when I'll leave this world, but it's really a pleasure meeting all the people who came and go, be it for good or bad. Hopefully, we'll met again.

Now for the future ...

I'm happy for my friends, most are married with kids, some are getting married, while some are pursuing other interest in life.

* B.F Wei Kiat; I'm waiting eagerly for your kid!!!

People asked me many times, why I don't have a girlfriend. Honestly, even I also don't have the answer. It is a question that is probably harder than the hardest maths question which I've ever solved and probably just like mathematics - there could be no answer.

I have a colleague. She is a 60+yr old auntie, tertiary educated and single. She is a retiree and living on government pension!!!! She is cash rich, lived in a big private detached house and drives a saloon car AND she is and well traveled.

She asked me that question, and I posed it back to her, she replied: Thinking back she do have some regrets, and she admitted she's choosy back then. But it's okay, she's comfortable with life now, owns 3 rabbits and 2 cats, leading a very enjoyable retiree life. Occasionally singing karaoke with the old folks in the community center.

So .. isn't it good be a rich bachelor?

As I am blogging, Thailand is in the midst of a political turmoil, world has just recovered from a near financial disaster 2yrs ago and our dear government are now pro-FT a.k.a foreign talent. Even if I am a PhD holder and earning high income but unfortunately I'm not one. I do fear for the future.

Uncertainty looms.

Anything, even a war can happen anytime - which did! 9yrs ago.

Well, something about meloveworld,

This blog existed because of a failed relationship 5yrs back, and I wanted to document the feelings and the things which I've seen. Looking back and fast forward now, a young chap who is arrogant, ignorant and immature, I think I've grown up and I see things in many lights now.

Sometimes, I do feel envious of people who have a child-hood sweetheart, because I don't. But then, that's fated - faced it.
Fate is fair, just like life. Some have and some don't, the equation is balanced.

Here, I've also documented about some girls which also came and went. But it's okay, only the good will stay and I'm probably not good enough.

And now If I were to ask myself what ultimate goals I have - I would want to see the world.

I used to have this beautiful picture of holding someone's hand and see the world but I can't see that happening, so I'll have to do it myself. It's perfectly fine. Because it is like all my books coming into real life! I'm excited.

To the exotic places and visiting historical sites, appreciating the natives and understanding their history through my own eyes. I think this is what I need to "complete" me.

Although people see me as a very jovial and happy guy, but in fact I'm shy and a introvert. I'm not a "crowd" person, I like my own personal space, enjoying a nice quiet moment. This is the real me.

This is the first time, I'm writing something about me and I don't know when is the next time I'll write something about myself again. I just hope that years down the road, when I read back, I'll give a little smile at myself and admire at how things have changed ever since.

Lastly, for all the moments that have happened to me, I have treasured and I appreciated that. I will always remember and never forget.

I don't know what will happen next but I will try to keep being positive. But just don't ask me about love. Thanks!

Cheers people~

11 April 2010 - Ode to Bryan.

" The dark seas are rough, but I sail alone
Amid angry waves and thundering roars, I row
The shores are right ahead but I've seen none

Battered and exhausted but I persevered
For hope is my engine and love is what keeps me on
I yearn for none, but the morning light

At first light of dawn the gold ray shone
Seeing the waving hands at far ahead shore
Is one, that would glad dying for.
"
meloveworld

bachelors and bachelorettes (Fur Elise)

Looking at the bright lights, the enormous building structure is more or less in place. It was massive and gigantic. For 1year plus, this area is bustling with life, trucks with tonnes of materials were going in and out endlessly, tiny ant-like human beings swarmed the whole site; and the promise was to changed the skyline and the economical value of my country - forever.

1 year ago, travelling along the road, i was tired. my weary eyes, i looked at the infrastructure then the skies; "woh" i though to myself, bustling with life and when completed promises alot! Its potential to our country is enormous and is rather sure to be one of the sparkling jewel of the world! .. while mine is no where in sight.

Now; today, same road, same infrastructure i'm looking at, same surroundings, same timing .. But feelings are abit different this time ..

One thing for sure, time has changed and i'm better than where i am 1year ago. Though i'm still weary but things have certainly changed for the better; the picture and plans that i had in mind then .. have all came true.

*YEAH!*

Well, someone told me that singlehood is wonderful! It represents freedom, carefree and no restrictions and no obligations to who-so-ever. Pretty true!? Single but not available, is just another term for "I'm happy and now please get lost!"

Managing your own finances, we can own and buy whatever we want! Routine shoppings on weekends, going for an overseas holidays twice per year, always wanted to own that continental car? get and own a bachelor's or bachelorette's pad!! You saved and spend whatever you earned! No need to report your finances to another person; and talking about .. sharing?

Think of it .. isn't that great? Kinda..

Doing things whatever and whenever or even on an ad-hoc basis is what one would term as freedom and freedom or personal space is priceless!

Freedom to spend more time with friends, going for late night movies, going for a night out in clubs, pubs or ktv lounges. Making more friends and having more funs!

This is YOUTH, and doesn't youth represents fun & laughter, energetic, living for now and no regrets - you live for today and for yourself and no-one else! It's about experimenting life!

Life is short play hard and now thats life! Enjoying youth at its best - to the very maximum.

Getting attached, being hitched and getting married is just a committment, they say. Love fades eventually at some period of time, when love fades and being together is nothing but a habit; what we have is a big big ugly mess.

Pretty screwed up isn't it?? Being single is like having an all-access pass to everywhere while getting married is like you're only restricted to this Area A; exceeding the area is a crime! And mind you, it is not just so simple as trespassing. Alot are at stake.

SO .. isn't it just as good as being single? and calling yourself a bachelor or bachelorette?? no strings attached, self -willingly or co-habited .. isn't this a better idea? why tied up yourself and get suffocated and losing one's freedom???

Grave digging and sucide act.

Then come in reports on adultery and divorce .. So much for love and happily loving and being together ?!

When the thought of going over the red tape excites and you're being lured over; oh well, love goes out of the window, bringing along faithful and trustworthy, the oath taken years back is nothing but a laughing joke!

So much for compromising, understanding and being thoughtful to one another! Like what they said in econs 101 "finance greed is when long term profit is blinded by short term gains, and rationality is thrown out the window"

Human nature like how Adam secretly ate the apple in Eden's garden will keep repeating itself; and the demonic serpent lives inside us all; the world is Eden's Garden!

Of course there're reports of everlasting love, but again you asked. Will I ? Can I ? Will it be me ? All funny questions appeared, kinda scrutinizing yourself. How bout I say insecure then?

The truth is that you and I jolly well know that times changed and a everlasting and forever love is fast becoming fairy tale like. Being together nowadays is not love, but a commitment. And our generation X or Y is not like the previous, our dad and mum's generation.

And having just pure commitment is very scary when not keep in check on a regular basis! It is like a lock with no keys; and one is struggling to break free when the commitment period ends - All hells break loose!!

But all is not lost! Probably peppering commitment with love, garnishing it with a few hugs and kisses and then iced it up with loving and do-able promises; lastly warpped it all up nicely with a sincered heart!

Love will then grow ..... or does it not? HaHaHa .. only time will tell ~

To all: Good Luck w Blessings. + love (爱 很简单)


PS. Love at the end still supersedes all. Being in love is the best feeling a human being can ever get. Though times have changed and things complicated, keeping love at its most basic, pure and simplified form then can it be everlasting, like a vantage watch or a vantage wine.

Love is not just there. It has to be created! Through hardwork, through actions, communication and understanding and always finding things to create new love. Experimenting life together, being together through thick and thin. Communicating and compromising with a smile.

Love is the most power energy and is the most wonderful emotions one can experienced. It creates and breeds life; provides neverlasting energy. And on the other hand, spoilt love creates hate. Hatred and jealousy destroys everything.

People who are in loved. Friends who are in loved and are getting married or have already tied the knot. My Heartfelt blessings to you!

Cheers ~ always with a smile !

Love is all around

The sun never sets and the stars don't shine, the clouds covers the skies and the rain starts to pour. The lightling strikes across; the thunder rumbles and shakes the entire skies. When finally the storm moves on and rainbows flashes across the skies; the pot of gold will sparkle bright under the morning light. Dawn will bring the morning light.

It has been a season of love. Oh well ..

My best pal, wei kiat has finally ascended to another level in life; he got married, got himself a pretty wife, created a cosy nest which he can claim its he's, committed himself wholely and very willingly to a contract which we termed it as the certificate of marriage.

Oh boy! what a mess .. *smiles*

But then .. i'm very proud and happy to be part of his year long "marriage" masterplan. It has been a very fruitful year. It has been really a pleasure to be one of his foot soldiers; but i regret not being able to piece in the final jigsaw on the last day.

Thanks pal. I saw love, coming from almost an unlikely source - from you ~

Sheer hard work and 100% committed and whole-heartedly dedication. It is really a pleasure to be in your masterplan .. and you certainly bring "motherland" closer to "our land".

Cheers!

Contrastingly my childhood buddy, boon chen. lost his father to an accident. Our relationship is very tight and i'm like a family friend to him. that day or rather that fateful night, when his voice trembled a bit, he was speechless with shock almost unbelievable. His brother speak with tears and immersed sorrows - his dad left without his last words and he left without saying goodbye to all ..

My heart sank as it comes as to me like something impossible but it happened.

The party was something like a farewell night; 4 nights as a matter of fact. When babies were borned they cried, like in pain .. like lost in a foreign land (which i think it is), so it would be boon chen's wish that we sent his daddy off with smiles in our faces .. radical? unthoughtful? dis-respect?
But i thought it was a matured decision. Take care buddy! One day all of us will renuited there, just a matter of when, your dad just went there first.

Life has only just begun ..

My beautiful niece is now 5yrs old and coming to 6yrs old in another half a year's time. 5yrs back when she came back fresh from the hospital, i looked at the small young thing on my mum's bed and i smiled. i made a wish and i bless her like how a god would blessed on someone.

Never did i missed watching my niece grew up. from the day she smiles at us all, the day she learnt to clap her hand till the day she crawl, stand, walk and run then fall then stand up and then fall.

Till the day she finally know how to kiss my cheek when i carried her high in my arms. i have missed my youngest brother's and i would allow myself to missed it again.

Now, shes 5yrs old .. pretty young girl, chatty girl, abit of temper and bullying people; people like me.

*smiles*

At this juncture of life. I feel rejuvenated. My plans are on track again, and i can feel the momentum and if nothing goes wrong, i could be a very happy man in the next couple of years.

Sometimes. this why appears and sort of questions me. "what to do to prove my existence?", does it mean that achieving my goals, sitting on top and being the key person in my company can prove that i exist? i doubt so.

Oh well, again this is subjective. just some sharing. To each of its own. my preceived of existence differs from one to the another. Just some points to ponder on.

Some time ago this "friend" of mine shared his personal experience, whereby his love life is brought into his parents attention:

His mum asked him how come he didn't find himself a partner? And during festive season, his grandma also asked him, how come you don't have a partner? Then at workplace his colleagues also asked him the same question! Some even thought he was a freaking gay!!

He shared; sometimes he tried. but the better he wants to be the worst he become, and if he wants to be bad the better he becomes. Kind of ironic? but oh well, fate - period. He used to have a few girl friends, but suddenly all disappear and at the same time, as if all of them know one another.

Paranormal? i don't know, and he also wouldn't want to know. Love is like so near yet so far, can see but never can touch and feel.

All the best my "friend" ~

My luck has all been shifted into my job. All my prayers and blessings has been answered and i know i cannot ask for more. Love or not is not up to me and like my friend; leaving to fate is like very helpless but then .. so be it.

I'm blessed to have lots of nice friends and i think they're equally blessed as well.

*winks*

Okie .. love is all around for everyone!! I'm good !! I hope all my friends and people that i know and know me are as good as well.

Cheers ! (*smiles*)



" 我和你, 男和女都逃不过爱情 .. 也许因该放心让爱一步步靠近 " (有一点动心~)

Memories III (Final Act)

It rained again ... heavily

When i was young, i remembered that old path that i would always passed by; and being a young boy, i wouldn't like to walk on the pathway, instead i would like to walk on the red brick, the two rows of red brick, that made the pathway a pathway.

If you get what i mean. * smiles *

I would try balance myself and see if i could, just like walking on a balance beam; walk to the end of it, probably a good 10-15metres.

Thats me. When i was young. Silly me; isn't it?

Those were the days; good old days, with friends it's always fun and laughter, worries would always be what's tomorrow's activities; fear would be my father's handheld "toy" - his trusty 50cents cane; surrounded by mummy's care and conceren and lots of love; and grandma would always be my guardian angel.

I'm fortunate; people whom i've known, their parents are either at their late 50's or even more. While my parents just hit or slightly above the 50yr old mark. Couple of my friends don't have this luxury; cos their parents have .. sad to say; moved on.

And my heart is always with them ..

Oh well; *shruggs*

I have had couple of wonderful gatherings with my various groups of friends within these few months; and i'm glad to know that all of them are good; surviving well and happily alive. Share some funny stories; talking bout the good old days, then heard some old news and bad news.

While some have changed for the better; some for the worst and some have gone missing. Can't helped it isn't it? Everyone has got a choice or rather freedom to choose.

Similarly, i think i also have the right to choose .. isn't it?

All the best everyone ...

AND Oh well!

"Glad ?" to say that the bachelor & bachelorette club is getting bigger. Hahaha .. sorry folks. And happy to see that these "newly recurits" have adapted very well to our club culture in a short time. Life's goes on isn't it? Welcome back comrades!

But not all are bad. Just yesterday; my best friend tied the knot.

He is one success story; he defied all odds and emerged as the most unlikely to be .. now a reality. An introvert; snobbish; anti-social; odd tempered and a 100% MCP -- he tied the knot.

This is the power of love.

And as he put the ring into her finger; i had no emotions as i looked on. The regret i have is not to shout "HEY, you sure you think carefully?" .. and tell his wife; "Hey, you kidnapped my best friend! Can returned him back ? " Haha ..

When right here waiting becomes now and forever and minus all the typical well wishes; i have to really wish him all the best!

Well ... *smiles*

Recently, i went back to the same old pathway; i tried to balanced myself and tried to walked that same 10-15metres without losing my balance. Hands lifted left and right like a helicopter; mimic how a pussy cat would walk, it kinda looks silly isn't it? Considering i'm a young adult.

But times have changed; that pathway have been rebuilt and re-constructed; the surroundings and the environment have changed; the neighbourhood has changed but that same old feeling - never changed.

Enjoying the afternoon sun, enjoying the afternoon breeze .. i was wrong. Times changed.

Good old days are good old days; and they remained as good old days .. they were nothing but yesterday.

Out of the comfort zone; i had lots to fear and lots to fight for. Just like a young lion; forced out of the pride; forced to build alliance and set up a new pride of lion family - Just like those in the documentary (Animal channel).

Its tough; very tough; i'm still finding a way; still failing, still searching; still trying but surely there must be a day; just a matter of WHEN, which day?

Hope it won't take too long .. (look after me, okie!? To: Man above.)

WELL .. WELL .. WELL ..

Reading a MRT post which i've wrote 3yrs back; i can't help but to noticed that we're indeed in the thick of the globalisation act. Whatever nationality you name it; chances are you might find it in the MRT! And also some cute observation which i personally made (and i like to do all the time!) 1) Other people's newspaper seems to be more interesting than our own; EVEN if it is the same newspaper. 2) In a crowded train, when everybody is packed like sardines. Can't help but to look at other people's SMS's! Talking bout invading other people's privacy ..

Cute huh? at least that's how i felt .. *chuckles*

Well, at the end of the day, memories are still memories and they should just be kept as memories. They're call memories for a reason, and the reason is memories; it has passed on and it is just a picture or slideshow that exists in our head.

Dwelling on it doesn't helps and it never helps ..

For me; i'll anticipate what has to come; and hope to see you, if you happen to be there.

And the rain stops.












谢谢你让我看见 因为我在等待永远

Nocturne #2 In E Flat, Op. 9/2

It rained yesterday ...

Somehow .. this month of the year, it would rained - heavily.

The same thick red clouds would cover the dark starry nite, then it would rained and rained and rained.

Wind would blew strongly, the trees swung furiously and the sound of the thunder - deafening and the lightling flashes - frightening.

Again, i made a cup of hot chocolate to make myself warm and cosy.

I realised 26Nov2008 .. And this year is coming to an end - in probably 1 months time. Yes .. rubbed my eyes, its gonna be another year soon!

And slowly the slide show inside my head rolled on .. as i stared at the darkness and listening to Chopin's Nocturne #2 In E Flat, Op. 9/2 .. playing on and on and on .......

I couldn't forget those days .. when my heart is in depression. As i passed by the old familiar road and saw the same old building .. there was a twing of dejection still .. but i felt happy, cos i have pulled through those days, emerging to be a much more stronger and tougher me.
And honestly, now .. she is still that lovely girl which i have knew years back .. now and then - shes still lovely.

The day when the one smiled on that happy day at February08, i looked at her and the message which she sent was very heartening. That smile, that expression, that look and that feel .. its kinda wonderful .. she loved it and she like it, though I tried to shrug it off, but i couldn't lie to myself - and that moment was like forever.
I also hope she like that memorial scrapebook!

Days and nights when i would sit alone in the cab, staring at the still brightly lighted skyscrapers, looking at the beautiful giant ferris wheel and admiring at the progression of the mega construction waiting to be turned into reality at the end of 2009. There's nothing but emptiness in my head .. accepting nothing but that I'm also just a mere commoner and as much as I want to escape but I'm being consumed and have to bow to reality.

Is this what I want .. or rather, is this life? Sad fact.

Remembering that day, when the word "YES" weights so much so much. When my manager looked me in the eye and said "Are you sure this is what you want?".
With that, I have embarked on another life journey, a path which I have plan and set my mind on and this is gonna be what i want to do and what i wanna be - this decision or this 3-letter word "YES" means a lifetime to me.
And not forgeting the well-wishing and the blessings which I have received from all the wonderful and kind people - it is really heart-warming.

When I saw my best pal of all time get down on his knees and in front of the lady and promised her that he will be by her side till the end of time.
Mind you, I knew this bugger for 18 freaking years and to see him finally "bow" down and fell to his knees at the power of LOVE .. it just shows love exceeds all - and it is the mother of all creation. Love certainly changes him.
I thank him for sharing and gifting me this moment of a lifetime to be a witness and playing a part to this magical moment!

Just recently, this good lady friend of mine cried to me. She said enough is enough, as there is just so much her little fragile heart could bear, the excess baggage that bring her down, those old memories that came haunting, the fear of an unknown future and the endless days of suspicion and quarreling between them, well she could contained no more .. And I could tell, this is love and there is love. I wish her all the best!
You have prayed countless times for something .. the deity never said anything but they gave you what you want and it is that something.

On 3 occasion when 3 of my childhood friends exchange vows to the respectively ladies which they promised to take care and protect her from now till death - as the solemniser pronounced them man and woman.
And I remembered the good old days when we were young and getting into various troubles, days when we were spending nights after nights together, getting high and dry and making so much of a nusiance.
Those days ... and I could still remember them clearly and it just felt like yesterday once more!

*smiles .. all smiles*

I smiled and cheered as I stared into blank and the darkness .. it's still not that bad after all to end this beautiful year 08 ??

But somehow, one day next month .. I would want to strolled along the streets, admiring and enjoying the bright lights and the beautiful decorations and I hope it would rained a little though! As I would wear my warm thick clothes and walked against the chilling wind, amidst the wet and cold night.

I want to see loving people hand in hand exchanging loving smiles, loving couples whispering into the ear of one another, happy mothers and fathers with their kids, people shouting and giving greetings - acting plain stupid, and tired people who would lie on each other's back or on the journey back home - tired but with a smile painted across their faces.

The night would be beautiful, it would be like a poetic picture .. a million words just couldn't explained it ..
And you could just probably understand why Van Gogh cut his ear to paint that picture ..

Well, I hope I could share this beautiful moment too!

落单的恋人最怕过节

只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉

我爱过的人没有一个留在身边

寂寞它陪我过夜

Chapter 26 .. My wish is long overdue .. If you could hear me?