rainy thoughts

As i looked out the window ..

The thunder roars and lightling flashes across the dark red cloudy skies .. the rain came pouring down.

The freezing cold .. the brutal strong wind ..

Isn't it scary?

On the window are hundreds or even thousands of small water droplets.. reflecting the passing lamp lights, like a kaleidoscope.. i saw many spider webs of flashy orange colours.

I heard a loud screaming voice .. he screamed at him.

So loud that it hurts, internally. i saw the little boy crying .. helplessly. I thought it was intimidating .. but he was still shouting and screaming.

I don't know why, but .. there is no reason, neither is there a need for all these violence. It was the anger kept inside him. But what are these anger? no one knows ..

The little boy is crying helplessly. Everytime he choke and dry his tears with his small little hands .. my heart squeezed a little, my face swell a little and my eyes blinked a little.

He was looking and she was looking.

why ?

I looked at the rainy skies, all i can hear was noise, all i can see was flash lights and all i can feel was pain.

I too, was the screaming guy .. shouting at a helpless boy. There was anger in me then. But i don't know why.

I would remember, i would carry him on my arms, when he was in nursery, he was so cute and adorable.

I would never forget this little boy, came smiling and asking me to carry him, 9 years ago .. when i was brushing my teeth. But all i did was smile at him and walked away, off to work.

In the end, now .. i suffered.

From my guilt .. my conscience .. and my duty as a elder brother ..

And the pain just won't end.

She saw too .. and she too .. left me.

And the pain just won't end ..

Well .. what's past has gone. I can't possible go back and atone my mistakes. So let's just make action speaks louder than words, and look into the future.

And as the car goes faster and the rain grows heavier ..

I think love ..

Maybe love is like a aeroplane ride.

Sometimes, taking a little twist and turns, would make love more interesting, but too much of it would deem as unsafe. And too little may deem as a boring relationship.

Striking a balance is important. It just make the love going and going ..

But the thing is, what if the love breaks down and is heading for a crash?

Well, the love aeroplane only have 1 parachute.

One party can jump off with the parachute and the other would have to bear the full force of the plane crash.

ok, I know its cruel.

But ..

A man has to die first before he can learn how to live.

but if the plane can fly endlessly till both of them crashed together, this i saluted. And please tell me how too!

*smile*

Sometimes .. sometimes .. rainy days really make a mood go moody and it surely aroused the mood of many people.

including me ..

And as i reached my destination .. I thought of that someone who has killed me.

I smiled.

My friend saw and he asked me why i smiled all of a sudden.

I said no, but i just remember a beautiful picture of a lady .. so let's just get a frame and framed that beautiful picture up.

and i really frame that picture up.

oh ..

and just so good, the rain goes smaller, the thunder stops and the little boy starts smiling again

mm .. beautiful indeed.

'
你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
'

one more to go before end 2006 ..