past present and a future with you

my country is sick .. so am i

even time, which tickle so fast, hasn't caught up with me yet, but sadly, flu has.

love-sick? ... haha

so .. what now?

i looked at the people around me .. my friends, in particular.. they had gone one or maybe even two or three steps ahead of me.

most were in the midst of studying for a degree cert. or are already in the workforce, craving out a career. and these people are my peers, we study in the same school, we play soccer every week and we know each other for years.

couple years more to a decade ..

time and tide dont wait .. i guess

some were already married and are already a father .. while some, its just a matter of couple of years before they tie the knot.

to think we were just teenagers, wearing our school uniform, day in day out .. having recess together, taking the same test, taking the same O levels.

and those were the days ..

sometimes, in this fast pace society, it would be good to stop and think back those wonderful days in the past.

But, in this reality world. i know that sometimes, things are not as rosy as it may seem to be.

sometimes, just to earn a living, we're forced to do things unwillingly. work in jobs that are not of our interest. smile just because we have to smile. talk to people we dont like and do everything just for the pleasure of people who are paying you.

sad, but true.

if you're lucky, you will find friends. or maybe good friends, who you can confide to, friends who wont "2-face" you when you are in your most vulnerable.

sadly .. in this dog eat dog world where the big fish always eat the small fish. where greed rules big head and small head. things may not always be what we want it to be.

gone were the days where we're in the comfort zone and we're protected. free from this harsh cruel world.

the rule of the game says .. if you're not the big fish .. then you better learn to grow faster, bigger and stronger .. and well, if you dont .. prepare to be eaten by the big fishes.

okay! enough of the harsh world, harsh reality and harsh society ..

isnt it wonderful, if you could after work, go home knowing that theres always someone .. who is waiting for you.

that person will be always willing to listen to you .. though that person may not give the best of answer or even suggestions or opinion. but that person is willing to share your burden and all your agony in this small cosy space you would call home?

a home where both of you had created?

but sometimes, when mind gets tired, it will twirl and swirl and it gets confused and frustrated. people will get angry and heated arguments are inevitable. and this happens most of the time, working in this hectic society.

so, why not take a step back, clear your mind and appreciate what that person does .. wouldnt that be better?

one wrong sentence can ruin a good day .. and vice versa, one beautiful sentence can make a person's day, if not one then maybe two.

well .. what to do right? is there a fine line between compromising and pure giving in? or do people just shout it out to get the message across to one another?

but hey, thats the one you love .. most

easier said.

living together may sound easy but however, not everyone's doing it .. and everything boils down to a word called "committment"

and nowadays not many people dare to even commit .. for "freedom" is now the in-word.

freedom? committment or grave?

will you give up your freedom to dig your own grave .. called committment?

sometimes, i feel im getting older, although now, i maybe young, but things around me are moving so fast. it will be very soon, the big 3 would approach me.

i also wish one day, when i come to a home of my own, there will be someone waiting for me.
and i would think that every thing i have done is all worthwhile.

and everyday, im still thinking .. im still pondering and i hope im still waiting. for everyday, im learning and again, waiting ..

i hope you know.

even if i have a successful career .. even if, i say.

a family would always be the final jigsaw puzzle .. to a successful career.

for one day, friends will leave .. they wont accompany you forever..

one day all happy hour will slowly fade away .. its either, you are being obsoleted or you have been obsoleted.

good time dont last ... and they surely aint gonna last forever.

sometimes .. knowing, there's always a warm cosy shelter, protecting you from harm, protecting you from the cruel reality of the world and keeping you safe and sound.

always knowing there's someone waiting for you .. to care for you, to share for you ..

till the day we leave this world.

to me, this is forever ..

for nothing beats a home sweet home.

"
I have seen dawn after the dark
For I have already travel this far
And all long I have not look back
But hoping you're at the front

"