auld lang syne

I remember i was waiting for my friend outside the train station.

When he went to buy a drink, and i just sat there and stared at the never-ending crowd.

Suddenly, i heard a song ...

It was melodic .. the lady who played the tune, she played it well. It was harmonic, i can hear flow in it. It was smoothing, but the tone was sad .. i can feel loneliness in it and i thought there was a meaning in the song ..

That tune tells a story ..

And that lady played it with feelings ..

As i stared at the lady .. i wonder how much she has been through .. i feel sorry for her, but i never pity her.

And I think about myself ..

And i looked at the never-ending crowd .. where suddenly, everything become a slow motion film.

I looked at the mother with her children, i smiled, because i like children and i would remember those days when i was young and mom would hold my hand and my brother's hand. Mother would always tell us to be a good boy and study hard.

Good student?

I looked at the little "gangster" with the tinted hair, wearing the black polo tee with the small chain hanging on his jeans. It remind me of my younger days, but i was better, i think. in fact, I was

Wasted youth?

*smile*

I saw a sweet young couple holding hands ..

Everytime, i would tell myself to stop looking at these people, but sometimes .. i can't. Looking at the way they smile and giving small talk to each other, well, i shouldnt say i'm jealous. Maybe envy would be a much better word.

Envy .. why be envious? mm.. good question.

I hope they won't peck on each other's lips .. in front of me .. please!

Everything is just like a motion picture ..

Observing crowds are fasinating, every person has a different story to tell. Everyone is like a battered warrior and has fought numerous wars .. The eyes tells me all.

Everyday, is the same busy crowd, everyday is the same kind of people, walking in and out. walking into the bus and out of the bus. nothing has changed and though everything looks the same. but deep down, you know its different.

Including me.

In a couple of days, i would bid farewell to this lonely year ..

This year, has been very emotional. Through many negative emotions, i learnt alot. I feel that i have understand myself more and more.

I learnt that actually, i can smile. not bad huh~

This year, i felt sincerity at its best. Never before i felt i could be so sincere, as if my heart open up and speak .. never thought i can be so trueful.

I swear that the feeling was wonderful and magical.

But a magical feeling used at the wrong occasion. well, nevermind.

This year is a soul-searching year.

This year, I'm a bachelor. This year, i got time to sit down and think of my future .. to draft a plan for the coming years.

It was a sensible thing to do.. I thought. And it sure is.

One amazing thing happened this year is .. i started to blog. Which i never thought i will.

*smile*

Looking at my 36 stories..

This year, my emotional level is at its peak and bottom. I wrote things which i have feel or i have seen.

The things i've been through, whether they're good or bad. What i see and feel. i wrote down. so in years to come i can laugh at myself for being such a wimp. haha..

meloveworld is my " emotional graveyard "..

And as for this year's Christmas Day, i was not in a party, eating turkey or was i exchanging gifts, and i am neither on a date with some fortunate father's daughter.

I was watching a movie..

In a city of pain and hate. which one would you choose? would you choose to love or hate or would you choose to end yourself?

I'm happy i have choose love. since day one till now.

Treasure someone you really love is important. Two person who truely love one another but cannot be together .. is the most painful emotion that a human being can ever feel.

B'cos, by this time, no one believes in heaven's will .. just ask Romeo & Juliet, or how bout Liang ShanBo & Zhu YingTai.

Watching the movie was my christmas present. and I like this year's present.

I hope i would never have to choose between love and hate again.

But one day, i know i will jump back into the love-wagon again .. i guess

Sucidal? perhaps perhaps .. maybe. maybe yes. maybe no. whatever..

*sigh*

As i brewed a cup of hot warm coffee .. my hands were freezing as i adjusted my specs and i looked out at the deep hazy skies ..

Before the heavy rain, i tried to looked far away .. I saw the city skyscaper standing so tall, behind a misty of grey clouds and eventually covered by thick angry grey clouds.

there were no thunder nor lightling, but the wind was strong. It blew hard on my face, my face feels cold and it stiffens ..

It then rained. or rather .. it snowed.

As i sip my warm coffee .. i smile

This rain could make many people down. Looking at the whole city swallowed by angry clouds and the strong wind that can bully anything that comes in its way .. but for this time i never.

I saw light.

I'm thankful for everything that happened this year. I'm thankful to all the great people i have around me.

I'm looking forward to a new year and a bright future.

Beyond the dark cloud, there will always be a warm and wholesome sunshine, accompanied by beautiful rainbows.

I am still me. But, I've changed to a new me.

Thinking back, time really flies. Looking at my pretty niece growing up .. Its just like yesterday, she was a sleeping baby, now she's running around and keep pestering me .. Like a two-year old duracell bunny.

Haha ..

Sitting down and reflecting everything that has happened. it really make my heart ache.

But anyway, what's past is a mirror reflecting on my present, ensuring i don't repeat them in the future. Good past i keep them as memories and those bad past i take them as a lesson learnt.

simple!

Many times, i still think of that lovely smile who used to smile for me. but its not smiling to me anymore ...

Anyway, think a little won't hurt that much.

Well, one day, this emotional graveyard will eventually be put to rest .. the mourning has already ended together with the departure of this sad and lonely year.

I guess the word "blog" sounds girl-ly to me. And if it were to continue, it wouldn't be an emotional one anymore.

For ...

I have stand up.

Couple of months back i guess ..

Let's move on for a new year..

*smile*

And i look forward to all the coming years .. and the most important thing is, i would want to see the world.

There're still lots of road waiting for me to walk on .. and its my greatest wish, to travel around the world.

I hope im not travelling ... alone

Well ...

Lastly, to the lady who played the tune .. reminding me that this year is finally coming to an end. I pray for her to be happy ..

To the blind indian lady who played the harmonica outside the train station ..

I hope you will be happy .. always

Thank you .. thats a good tune.

I had enough of love songs .. for this year at least ..

Happy new year to you ..

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And days of auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne

..

To the people I love, my family, my friends and you.

You won't be forgotten.

..

Goodnight

..

Goodnight 2006

..

我已经变了

但也來不及了

..

后退

* See you in 2007 , be happy!