november rain

Yesterday, I was in town.

The weather was wet, it was cold, walking in the midst of the crowd doesn't help .. at all.

I saw a toy fair, inside a shopping centre .. a Barbie fair. Although it was nothing special, but the laughter of the children, those energetic runs and shout-a-bout and the wailing crying scream of THOSE children.

cute kids .. but with mixed feelings.. *grins*

I like children, as for the little girl who kept screaming .. probably make me think twice about having a daughter. haha ..

I'm famished. I've walked for quite some time.

I ate a bowl of hot noodle soup.

I looked at the beautiful picture in front of me .. maybe the sky is gloomy, the weather is cold and the river freezing .. the city looks victorian, it looks like a rainy London Street ..

it looks misty .. it looks mysterious .. a totally different feel of the same old city view, which i have seen many times.

I'm okay now .. but why the city in turn, has become a gloomy figure? well, whatever.

I walked .. looking at people. i wonder why people nowadays looked better?

To find out why, i went to the toilet ..

I looked at myself .. erm ..okay, i think i know why .. *smile*

oh well, i guess for most girls, mini-skirt and spaghetti tops are always in fashion .. regardless of the weather .. and not forgetting the never-dying japan-inspired dressing.

I was attracted by a familiar sound and i went to a music store .. I saw something familiar .. I saw Ayumi Hamasaki's new album .. called BlueBird or something like that. I wonder when was the last time i remember i bought an album of her's.

I remember Ayumi .. I remember the pretty smile .. and I will never forget the Ayumi that brought us together.

i remember, she used to tell me Ayumi is the best. She would know all her song .. and she would always snap off the latest album.

I got an urge to buy the album .. but, maybe, most probably .. there's already no need for me to. Maybe Ayumi has already become a historical figure to me .. well, maybe.

*sigh*

I walked out.

The weather became more colder as night falls. The crowd intensifies. At least, this crowd keeps me warm a little bit.

Sad to say, a few moments later .. the cloud thickens, the skies turned red, it then gave a loud roar and it rain. heavy at first .. then it drizzles.

I wonder why it kept raining? Then i remember, its November, then December, then Christmas ..

Christmas .. i wonder how its like to sit round a dining table, like in movies, with a group of people, eating Christmas Turkey.

In my 20 odd years .. I never celebrated Christmas .. How is it to sit around a cosy dining table? How is it to eat a Christmas Turkey?

I really dont know.

the cold night, the crowd and the drizzling-snow-like rain .. it really makes me feel Chirstmas is just couple of hours later ..

Although i know not much about Christmas.. but i do know how to sing Jingle Bell.

*smile*

Thinking and thinking .. i remember my best friend wrote this ..

" I used to think that youngsters that only party, getting wasted and messed up, cam-whoring their overexposed photos of them in the black spiraling process of it were idiotic, shallow, money-wasting and hind-sighted. "

But somehow .. he wrote this too..

" If I have a beer right now, I will raise a toast to the wasted bastards, the young and the stupid. "

thats what youth's all about .. totally agree now, my friend. Hope we're not too old to understand.

but is there time for me to be a wasted bastard, the young and the stupid youth?

if there is .. is there a chance?

i sincerely think so ..

but isnt Christmas a time to be with your loved ones? but as for now .. it is true only to a certain extent.

Looking at the once, beautiful night .. and the now cold November Rain ..

but well, its okay, compared to last year's .. I felt much warmer this year ..

November 2005, there's a song .. I'm stuck with it, even until now ..

Lastly .. I hope that this year's 2006 Christmas, Mr Santa Claus can grant me a wish .. just one will do ..

before November ends .. December comes ..

haha .. fat hope ..

i guess~


"
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
"


nothing last forever ...



even cold november rain ..