my birthday girl

it's a peaceful night .. at least my mind is in peace and i'm not thinking of many things, but still remembering and thinking of somethings, but one thing, in particular ..

just one .. really.

i smiled, and along the street i walked.

i walked passed a long glass window and i saw this group of people, probably in their teens, my age, and there were, one .. two .. three, probably more, its eight of them. all crowding around the table and there's one person, just one person, standing at the front of the table and the rest just crowd by the sides.

i stopped. i walked back. and i looked. and yes, i really stopped and i really walked back and i really look at them.

it was a lovely sight, a joyful one and of cos, everyone looked very happy. they are clapping hands, they were also singing songs. the person at the front of the table, was a lady. she was very beautiful .. dressed in her most pretty clothes, she is very happy.

as she jumped with joy, her long silky hair flows, bounced and rest neatly on her shoulders. i saw her lovable cheeks, as red and round as a cherry and blushing all along. her eyes sparkles and her sight kept wonder around .. wonder on to her friends, then on to no where, but kept looking on at particularly something on the table.

its a cake ..
with 2 big candles and 2 small ones, 4 lighted candles .. although it was an ordinary & normal cake.. but with candles on it .. it may not be an ordinary cake anymore.

this cake probably meant something, to her.

it was a birthday cake.

and that girl is celebrating her birthday .. and as her friends finished singing the song .. they were happily clapping their hands, making happy sounds of joy, and some went on to hug her, so warmly and so wholesome, a joyous occasion indeed..

a special day to remember and what a wonderful sight to behold,

as she closed her eyes, clutched her hands together, silently smiled to herself .. giving a small grin as if the angels in the heaven has agreed to what she had wished for ..

with a pretty smile across her pretty face, she bent down to blow her candles, annoucing the arrival of her 22 years of age.

suddenly .. the wind outside gets colder .. this night seems older and this day seems longer, although its about to end soon.

Sometimes, growing older is not a bad thing, well, you grow wiser. but however, time and tide waits for .. in this case, and for every case, no one.

well, its another year .. one after one year, that fast.

as she blew the candles .. she smiled and looked up .. her big bright eyes, innocently glanced outside the glass window.

and all she saw were by-passers, walking quickly and briskly, some were trying to find their way home, while some are rushing to somewhere else .. and that man in front .. behind the mirror, is not there anymore.

but nevermind, she just smile on, cutting her cake and serving her friends, giggling and laughing .. and all these actions, happily.

while for the man .. he's gone.

as i walked, the wind blows hard. i try to smile a little and then put my hands in my pocket, tighten my arms bringing them close to my body to warm myself, and as i stared blankly into space .. walking and wandering into nowhere.

although there are many people like me .. there are many people around me .. many people of different faces. but i felt i'm in my own dimension.

simply put, i'm lost and i travel back time .. back to four years ago and travelling back to .. today.

i saw me in the past .. those wrong-doings and those mistake .. was unforgivable. i cannot pardon myself.

my heart shrunk and something squeezed it real hard .. i guess, the demon from the past has come back for revenge.

a birthday was meant to be happy and it was meant to signify something. isnt it?

and i don't know about it at all.

i'm sorry ..

and as my thoughts starts to come back to the present ..

i felt a strong feeling rush up from my body to my head .. my eyes felt itchy and theres something inside my pupil, keep moving and running about .. slowly it circles and circles around the iris of my eye .. my face felt warm and my lips starts to swollen ..

i bit my lip. i blinked my eye. and i took a deep breath and looked up the sky.

the moon along with the many stars in the sky are shining bright. it was never before, so bright. then the wind blew and it blew strongly, big red flurry dark clouds soon came and cover the entire sky, devour the moon and all the stars, and swallow the beautiful night sky.

"even you abandon me" i thought .. helplessly.

although my vision was very blurred and i can't seem to see clearly. i'm overwhelmed.
but still i can remember seeing the beautiful night sky.. and they were my only companion.

walk and walk on .. i'm out from the endless flow of human traffic.

and still i walked. and something, from the eye, watery beads of pearls kept rolling down my cheek and down to my chin, accumulating, and when they dropped down .. to the ground. like water ..

i know theres nothing more to say .. the guy is not there anymore, some one took over.

but for some day, one day would always be a day .. a significant day. for me to remember. for me to look back at. and hopefully the day .. where i would always put a smile across my face.

i hope.

if the birthday girl cries .. it would only be of joy.

Happy Birthday to You ..

my birthday girl.