to a friend.

i remember .. last year's cold night.

although im wearing layers of black and white and jeans .. but im still feeling cold. bcos that time, my heart was still in destress.

as i wander to no where .. i walked to the streets .. the lights flicker together with the noise of the traffic .. i realised i just missed the green man. so i stopped.

i looked back. the wind blew and as the leaves on the floor rustles, and so are those on the trees .. there are many people .. many people are in a happy mood. many people are laughing and smiling. and many people are in love.

but that time, i feel im alone.

love has gone, desserted away from me.

and though we're standing on a common platform. but me and the people, are seperated .. worlds apart.

i can't feel what they are experiencing. it was painful .. indeed.

dramatically .. it started to rain .. or rather, drizzle.

i smiled at the beautiful people .. and i then turned and walked on .. as if im walking to the world where i belong to .. a world of loneliness, cold and dark and where people everyday is staring at space and the only positive emotion they have is .. smiling

how pathetic isnt it? *smile*

that day .. late at night, i heard loud noise coming from a corner .. i saw a guy pulling this lady, and she shout and him while both of her hands were on her head, as if she's very miserable .. the guy just sadly stared at her and his eyes were tired.

i watched a little and walked away. while the shouting still persisted.

as my head ponders .. my heart says this .. "though its something familiar, but let's go, shall we? you had your fair share too."

this time, its muscle 1 brains 0.

i left the cold streets, cold city with a cold heart and an empty mind. i feel my face swollen and my eyes becomes itchy .. it keeps twitching and every time it twitches, it gets more watery.

but i restrained it .. bcos there no point .. anymore.

and i went home as i left the cold streets, cold city with a cold heart and an empty mind.

and now .. i cant believe it, but time flies and a year has just passed.

as i said before, i tried to wonder why girls prefer guys who are jerks rather than good guys. and i come out with a few reasons ..

fortunately, i had this friend who said this to me, eventually good man will win the war. and it boils down to patience, tolerance and the know-how to manage a relationship TOGETHER.

*smile*

as true as i agreed to what my friend says. but if i asked .. what if it is the first time he/she is in a relationship?

if either party is a first timer in the love game, then maybe to demostrate patience, tolerance and management might be a little too much for him/her as a first-timer.

but none-the-less .. everyone is learning. including you and me.

*winks*

i read upon this article and it posed an interesting question.

"I don't understand women. If we're nice, you relegate us to friend status and go for a complete jerk, and then come crying to us that you just want a nice guy. Are you insane? What do you want?"

then i understand that, in the way to keep the woman of your dreams interested in you and only you, is to be sensitive while retaining your masculinity AND the key is to avoid both extremes of the nice guy and the jerk.

well, think about it, if you give her the best of both worlds, why would she ever want to look elsewhere?

true? maybe ..

well, it could be a guidline for a man to be the man for his girl.

but sometimes, it isnt neccsary things may go sour bcos of jerks. but if a person interest level towards another person is low, he/she can give one hundred and one excuses to put an end to it.

mm .. maybe irreconcilable differences might sounds familiar?

*smile*

i had this friend ..

and i know my friend might be feeling how i felt last year .. but im happy to see that she has come out from the darkness and walk towards light.

and she did mentioned this, It's not a matter of finding true love anymore, but more of a practical love.

haha. companionship, maybe?

*smile*

Lastly, thank you for accidentally introducing me to the song on the My Umbrella article. its nice. though i cant really gasp the meaning than you do. but anyway, its nice.

thanks sab.

整条街都是恋爱的人
我独自走在暖风的夜
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭
却还是少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节

anyway hope to see you soon~