yesterday's happiness

happiness, something that has eluded me for months and months. sometimes, i really forget what happiness is.

all the laughter, smiles, giggling, gush of blood to the head feelings. they have become so remote to me. as i can remember, happiness is something good. we feel good, we feel happy and we feel blessed and being love, probably.

well, these months. along the road, in the streets and everywhere. I see people, laughing. i see families, blessed with a few adorable children, although they maybe noisy and naughty at times, but they are laughing, shouting, smiling.

i envy the kids. they're happy. enjoying moment of happiness

i saw couples. hand in hand. though they might not be always smiling and laughing. but the concern look on the guy to the girl when she paused and stopped and felt pain somewhere. and the girl cuddling the guy's cheek and giving him a peck on the cheek. assuring him that she's perfectly fine. and they walked on. smiling and yes, happy!

i envy the girl. i envy the guy. they're happy. happiness? but i think maybe thats love.

is it true that happiness is so hard to attained? is it true that money can buy happiness? is it true that happiness is a rare thing?

balls man, why happiness doesnt come knocking my door anymore? when will be my turn again.

happiness ... where.. are .. you .....

happiness.. *smile*

that happiness, i once had was beautiful. i can remember it was magical.

i am happier than the kids playing on the streets, i am happier than the couple, cuddling and touching each other.

but a mistake .. took this magical emotion away..

one mistake everybody will make, but this time round it's costly. but nevermind.

just yesterday, i felt happiness again. though its nothing compared to last time.
compared to the kids and the couple's happiness.

but it was rare, it was expect the unexpected, but in the "i-cant-believe-it" way.

good or bad, i don't want to know
right or wrong, doesnt matter.

i just want to savour this little magical moment of happiness and hope theres more to come ..

are you blinking at me now? *grins*