the special one

sometimes .. i felt that i'm sitting on a kerb. looking at hundreds of people past me by.. while i just smile and looked on.

what am i looking at? well, i don't know. but what i know is just to smile and look on.

when i'm on the move.. along with many many people.. there are caucasions, foreigners, old people, youngsters.. beautiful people, ugly people and many many more. we are all moving along the same line .. in parallel, while sometimes perpendicularly.. cris-cross into each other's path.

sometimes .. i just feel vulnerable. you can say its lonely. sometimes its rather intimidated. sometimes i just feel good. sometimes i don't even know whats going on.

but what i know is .. just to move on.

and just sometimes.. you really wait and hope .. that someone will come to you and say " hey hi! how are u? why are you doing here? come, lets move on together."
and before you know it .. you found someone, maybe a friend? maybe a acquaintence? maybe a soul mate? or worst still, some one .. bad?

well, this person may move along with you. share problems. enjoy happy times. suffered bad times. all the sweet & sour & bitter times. the memories. that very moment. that very person.

be it man or woman.. lover or not. friend or foe.

then suddenly one day .. this person. this very special person .. said to you " im sorry, but i have to leave you, i have to go. i'm really sorry. don't be sad cos time will heal. someone will come along to accompany you, someday, one day .. goodbye!! "

then he/she left. maybe with tears, maybe not. he/she may steal a last glimpse at u .. or maybe he/she would not.

heartless .. you would say? you lost a friend? or a lover?

but i heard that person said sorry? well, you know time would heal isnt it? and the best part.. you also know someday .. one day .. some one WILL come and replace that person.
well, since you know all the facts .. why sad?

is there a rational for this? i don't really know, but what i know is that .. all these facts are true. and they will come true!

still sad? haha.. okay, i heard people say naive. i heard people say stupid. i heard people say childish. i heard people say im-mature.

well, i say .. its a learning process. emotions. and yes, its what makes us humans special - emotions & feelings. bad comments are irr-relevant, cos we are all learning.

the cycle goes back to the starting phase again.. sitting on the kerb. alone.

maybe one fine day, you're so well trained and you're just plain tired of looking at people. you want to make things happen. so you walk up and say " hey hi, how are you? why are you doing here? come. let's move on together!"

and there you go again .. the cycle starts all over again .. and your emotions upped a level higher.. call it experience point, if you want to.

well, no doubt its a cycle. but it will end one day! cos, one day .. we will get tired of repeating the process. of cos, you couldnt say that person who would eventually be with you is not the one you want.

bcos, only a special person could make you stand up and want to move with him/her and only a special person can make you want to approached and say hi to.

sad to say, this may not always be the case. well, again, i don't know, it's up to the individual!

well, one day .. when you are tired .. you want to rest and quit playing this cycle game. but on the other hand. you dont want to be lonely .. cos you're are afraid of loneliness. so make the right choice.

easy? well, easier said.

think.. how many 4 year can you afford to spend with another person anymore? 1 or maybe 2 or i say 3 the max? it add up to 12 years.. and only you know whether 12 years is a long or a short period.

and as for me ... i'm still sitting on the kerb, waiting .. i don't hope but wait, cos it would come eventually. *smile*

mmm .. how good if one day just one fine day .. someone familiar would return and say to me " hi, and you're still here.. well, i'm back .. don't mind if you would want to go for tea togther?"

again its just my wishful thinking! cheers!